Popcorn As It Should Be Done

So, I feel the reputation of popcorn needs rescuing. Popcorn that comes in a paper bag that you throw in the microwave is not real popcorn. (That fake buttery-flavored stuff that gets caked on the inside of the bag? Ew. Just ew.) Real popcorn gets dumped in a weird-shaped machine that makes weird loud noises and violently vomits the popped kernels into a bowl. Once there, the freshly AIR-POPPED popcorn--that is, real popcorn--gets drizzled with delicious melted butter (NOT MARGARINE.) In a perfect world, this is all topped by delicious grated parmesan cheese--that powdery Kraft crap will do in a pinch. And that, gentle readers, is how REAL popcorn is done. Don't be fooled.

Cookie > Cake

My birthday is coming up next weekend, and I have a confession to make: I am underwhelmed by birthday cake. I know, I know, color me weird. But you know what my perfect birthday confection is? A giant, pizza-sized chocolate chip cookie. Maybe with some frosting letters to make it more birthday-ish. But seriously, gooey chocolate chip cookie over cake any day of the week. Even Wednesday. It is just a purer form of bliss. Also? Fudgey brownies over cakey brownies, always. Cake is so wishy-washy as a dessert. There's all that fluff involved. I want my fat and sugar as undiluted by flour and other potentially healthy ingredients as possible. On the other hand, I hate fudge. So... I dunno. You tell me.

Guilty Pleasures

Theoretically, I'm one of those hippie types who's all pro-natural, pro-organic, into locally grown sustainable agriculture, etc etc etc ad nauseum. If I had the budget for it, I would actually follow through on all that. Join the food co-op and whatnot. As it is, I do my best to avoid overly processed items ("PROCESSED CHEESE PRODUCT" IS NOT "FOOD," I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS. EW.). But I still have a few guilty pleasures. Oreos for one. Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts for another. And god help me, Cadbury Creme Eggs. I have no idea what that delicious gold-and-white filling is. And I don't care. I need it for to live. It is pretty much the only reason I even notice Easter anymore -- when those things start hitting the shelves, I'm in trouble. And here's the really bad part: Cadbury, being a British company (I believe?), has way more variety and availability in Ireland. Creme eggs are not seasonal there. They are found anywhere, anytime. I was there for four months, and I pretty much ate one every other day. No wonder I gained fifteen pounds there. Well, that and the Guinness...

Mom's Spaghetti Sauce Recipe

Yesterday I whipped up a batch of my mother's awesome spaghetti sauce recipe, which is somewhere between from-scratch and from-a-jar. I'm not a big tomato sauce fan (and I'm part Italian! I know, right?), but I loooove this recipe and it's super-easy. From memory, it basically goes like this:

Sautee lots and lots of garlic in olive oil in a large pot. Add in two 15-oz cans of tomato sauce and two 6-oz cans of tomato paste. Fill one of the 15-oz cans up with water and dump that in, twice. Whisk it all together until smooth. Add a large handful (about a third cup) Tone's Spicy Spaghetti Seasoning -- that's pretty much the secret ingredient. Add some extra sugar, cayenne, oregano, and salt and pepper. While all this is going on, brown some boneless country-style pork ribs under the broiler; when brown on all sides, throw those in the sauce. Simmer it all on low heat until reduced to desired consistency (usually about an hour or so). Take out the ribs and cut them into little pieces and dump it all back in. Done! The sauce splatters while simmering if left uncovered, so you may want to partially cover it with a lid, but make sure it's not on all the way so the steam can escape.

I like to serve this over linguine topped with fresh-grated parmesan or romano. In fact, that is precisely what I am having for dinner in about half an hour. Om nom nom.

Plug: Cake Wrecks

As I have mentioned here before, I am a decent cook but a sub-par baker.* Even store-bought cake mix has proved to be a challenge to me in the past. (What do you mean I have to let it cool before I ice it? Oh god, why is the top peeling off? HELP!) But I like sweet baked treats as much as the next person, and I love to mock bad taste. Ergo, I must share with you one of my favorite snark blogs: Cake Wrecks ("when professional cakes go horribly, hilariously wrong"). The fact that the featured wrecks actually exist out in the world somewhere fills my heart with smug, superior joy. Far be it from me to knock someone else's personal baking disaster, but when purchasing a professional cake, one expects a certain level of... well... professionalism. Amirite?


*Note: In my defense, I do make some freaking awesome Toll House Chocolate Chip Cookies. Just sayin'.

Southwestern Bean Salad

I was just reading an acquaintance's knitting blog, and for some reason she had posted a recipe. It sounded pretty tasty, and reading through it I realized I'm pretty sure I have all the listed ingredients at the house. So maybe when I get home tonight I will make it. As yoinked directly from her blog:

Southwestern Bean Salad

1 can black beans
1 can navy beans
1 medium size red pepper, diced
1 meduim size onion, diced (either red or sweet, your call)
1 1/2 cups corn kernels
1 clove garlic, pressed
1/2 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp dijon mustard (or to taste)
2 Tbsp red wine vinegar
3 Tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper

Rinse and drain the beans. Mix together the beans, corn, red pepper and onion in a large bowl. In a smaller bowl, stir together the garlic, cumin, olive oil and mustard, and gradually mix in the vinegar until the sauce is creamy. Pour it over the beans and mix well. Season with salt and pepper.

...Now I am hungry. I brought leftover Chinese to eat between work and My Favorite Class Ever OMG Info Tech Is So Interesting. Guess I'll just have to tough it out for the next three hours until dinner time...

Balsamic Chicken, Sauteed Green Beans, Roasted Potatoes. Also? Garlic.

I've had a craving for one of my standby meals lately: Balsamic-Glazed Chicken. I haven't made it in months. I believe I may have based it on a Rachael Ray recipe, but I do it my own way now. Also, I never measure anything.

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Heat olive oil in a pan, sautee chopped garlic and shallots several minutes. Add 4-5 boneless chicken breasts (thinner is better), add salt and pepper. Brown several minutes each side. Pour balsamic vinegar liberally over each piece of chicken, coating both sides. Continue cooking until glaze bubbles and thickens and chicken is done.
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Favorite side dishes for this meal (very common dishes; I don't follow a specific recipe for these -- the ones linked are just what came up on Google):

Sauteed Green Beans with Garlic
Garlic-Rosemary Roasted Potatoes


You may have noticed that all three of these recipes have something in common. That something is garlic. I love garlic. I love it with an unconditional depth and intensity unmatched by any other food substance. In fact, now that I think about it, there is no way I've had this blog for several months without already waxing dramatic about my garlic obsession. Suffice to say, then, that I put garlic in pretty much everything I make. And I want to make one thing very clear: if it is coming out of a jar or any other form of container, it is not garlic. It is a poor substitute marketed toward those who don't know any better. Buy it fresh. Seriously. You'll never look back, and you may just mourn all that time you lost before you saw the light.